He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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