it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
