Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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