YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
