Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
