I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
