it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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