I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
