Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
