He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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