walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
