They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
