I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
