remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
