Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
