i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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