at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
