somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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