Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
