it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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