So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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