i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
