'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
