are you still at the devil's house?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize