Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
