Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
