We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
