dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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