That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
