you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
