i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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