Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
