Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
