So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
