If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Are we still banned from the library?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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