she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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