Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
