Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize