I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize