When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
as a side note pls kill me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
