I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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