we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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