Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
