he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
