honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
