Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
