bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
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