I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
