never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize