i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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