You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just invented taco cereal.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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