Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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