you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
