i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
