Do you still have your period?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
