winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
